Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
