You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
