The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
