I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
