this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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