does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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