Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
