she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
