Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Randomize
