my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
