That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
