i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
