He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
jump out the window naked night went bad
do nipples grow back?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
