Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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