And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Randomize
