My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
