waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
