I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
