Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
