I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
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