while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
