This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize