It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Walk of Shame today included voting.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
