butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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