I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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