sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
