I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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