Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
