It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
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