I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
