Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
