I wanna bring you to show and tell
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Are we still banned from the library?
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
