Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
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