I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
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