No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
