Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
i think my cat just said my name.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
