Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Randomize
