there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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