The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
