it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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