So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Randomize
