Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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