Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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