So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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