Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
