I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
