Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize