were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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