State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize