He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
