i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
