I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize