I accidentally had phone sex last night
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
