So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Randomize
