Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
