Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
