i jhust puked up my retainher.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
