if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize
