Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
