I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
