fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
